I have recently bought a few books detailing people’s experiences of climbing Kilimanjaro: and I had planned to write about one of these today, but seem to have taken off on a frolic into childhood instead! One very depressing thing about every account of the climb I have read is the amount of diarrhoea and vomiting referred to. I started to wonder if there was a better way of referring to this and remembered the much more delicate terminology my friend Gwyn uses: she and her family always refer to being unwell in this way as being “untidy”. When I asked Gwyn how that came about, she said it came from reading about a bear called Mary Plain, when she was a child. I have vague memories of reading about Mary Plain myself and decided to find out a bit about her on the internet – and have got entirely carried away!
Mary Plain is an orphan bear cub at Berne zoo who is befriended by the spectacled ‘Owl Man’ by means of the regular application of bear friendly treats (sugar carrots! condensed milk delivered by hose!). She is persuaded to leave the safety of her home and her bear twin cousins Marionetta and Little Wool and embark on a series of adventures with him. These range from winning first prize in a show, to capturing Nazi spies and outwitting kidnappers, from escaping a field of angry bulls to being washed up on a tropical island . Mary is always funny, practically fearless, wonderfully manipulative, endlessly imaginative and just the best company ever. Her adventures are recorded in a series of novels written between 1930 and 1965 by Gwynedd Rae – yes, another Gwyn!
Mary had a few catchphrases which handily cover all moments of Triumph and Despair in life:
To convey sadness and uncertainty:
‘I wonder if the Twins are happy without me?’
Or when self esteem is more buoyant:
‘I am an unusual first class bear with a white rosette and a gold medal with a picture of myself on it.’
“Gracious! that’s the cock waking me up, it must be another day,” and Mary pattered over to the window and had a look. Yes it was. How lovely! Mary liked new days. You never could tell what might happen on a new day; so many things could and especially when the day was Mary’s…
There is a thread of glorious gluttony that runs through all Mary Plain books. She eats constantly and always things that sound completely delicious; hot bread and milk, chocolate eclairs and meringues. She is very fond of cream buns, though if she ate too many, could fear that she was going to be “untidy”.
I have decided that Mary would be the ideal companion for us to have along on our trip, with her delicate phrasing. She would find a positive side to every possible difficulty we might encounter and would happily greet each new day as it came along, no matter what. Come and have another Big Adventure with us, Mary Plain, please!